Friday, July 14, 2023

"FIRST DO NO HARM" | Heal Yourself

 


As a Gen-Xer raised in a military family overseas, I was taught to be deflect any attention that came my way onto anything that was 1) close enough, 2) big enough, and 3) much more interesting. It first began as a matter of survival but then later dovetailed into a religious principle of devoted self-marginalization which lasted for the better part of four decades.

That notion of humility isn't anything to brag about either. It's humiliating, debilitating, and can also be lethal. I know this because it almost cost me my life. In all of my training

First, do no harm. 

Hippocrates penned those words. He was he Ancient Greek physician after whom the Hippocratic Oath is named. The idea is that saving life is the goal, and the practice is that every step contribute to the goal. The problem for people with a marginalized view of themselves, however, is that First, do no harm always applies to others and never to yourself. Realistically, First, do no harm should apply to yourself first if you are ever to First, do no harm to another.

Before you heal someone,
ask him if he's willing to give up the things
that make him sick.

Hippocrates also said that. And we should each apply this rule to ourselves first before we apply it to others. And here's the reason why. Because when you want others to be fixed more than you want it for yourself, it's not really healing that you want: it's distraction. And that distraction can last only as long as others never get well.



Wednesday, July 12, 2023

THE MARTIAN | "If You Solve Enough Problems, You Get to Come Home"




Several years ago, I watched THE MARTIAN with my wife. The movie follows the story of astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon), who is left stranded on Mars after his crew mistakenly believes he has been killed during a violent storm. The film showcases Watney's gradual, painful realization of just how bad his situation is. 

But then we're shown a series of tipping points that each drive Watney's relentless pursuit of survival as he uses his particular knowledge, outlier ingenuity, and frugal resourcefulness to overcome numerous challenges, find a way to communicate with Earth, and ultimately return home. 

After Watney returns home (spoiler alert), he attributes his survival to the following maxim:

"If you solve enough problems,
you get to come home."

I'm no Martian but have found this rule to be generally true in desperate times. I've modified Watney's rule to fit my own non-Martian experiences: 

"If you solve enough problems one at a time,
then you are likelier to come home (than not)."

Sometimes, my survival has depended on creating a detailed list and then working each item on the list as if it were the only item on the list. The Tao te Ching says something similar:

"Treat simple things
as if they are difficult."

If you treat simple things as if they are difficult, then you are doing the simple thing carefully. Although a fictional character, Watney survives because he wasn't dismissive of any one thing that linked to the next one thing until he found himself to be a survivor.




Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Amarin Trichanh: "I Am My Sister's Keeper" Second Edition to Release in September 2022

 

Amarin Trichanh, author of I Am My Sister's Keeper

Amarin Trichanh is no joke. An immigrant who barely made it alive to the United States at the age of eight and a three-time, combat-deployed Army combat veteran, Amarin is a master of transition.


Young Amarin.

Born in Bangkok, Thailand, the youngest of three girls, little could her family imagine they would immigrate to San Diego, California through a refugee program in 1984. Like most immigrant parents, their burning desire was to secure a better future for their family and that meant a better education for their children. And they did.


 Amarin | High School


After finishing her education, Amarin decided to give back to the United States by joining the military. For the first four years of her enlistment in the California Army National Guard, Amarin honorably served as a Patient Admin from April 9, 2002, to January 13, 2015.


Amarin |United States Army Veteran


For the next four years, she served as an active-duty Logistics Specialist and then as a Combat Medic Health Care Specialist for the last five years of her Army career. As already mentioned, Amarin has completed two combat tours in Iraq (Operation Iraqi Freedom) and one in Afghanistan (Operation Enduring Freedom). It was during her last year in the Army that Amarin began documenting the systemic sexual harassment and abuse of women in her unit at home and abroad in the combat zone.

That research and writing eventually became her autobiography I Am My Sister's Keeper: Confessions of an Army Combat Soldier & Her Quest to Expose Military Sexual Abuse which she published in 2020.


I Am My Sister's Keeper, 1st Version


In September, Amarin in will be releasing the second edition of her book which will be featured in a future documentary. 

Amarin has dedicated her life to advocating for and inspiring others to follow their dreams and help spread love, peace, and kindness. She is also an activist for victims of MSA (military sexual abuse) and an advocate for the Me Too movement.

In addition to Amarin's military service, her passion combines writing, poetry, learning new languages, and art. 

Amarin | Today

Saturday, June 2, 2018

WELCOME BACK LAZARUS: Coming Back from the Brink Is Hard Work


Two years ago, I had a surreal experience. I thought that I had died. 

That statement is suspiciously ambiguous, I know, but it's true. I suffered sudden anaphylaxis in the wee hours of one Saturday morning alone in my bathroom, struggled to stay alive, blacked out, was conscious for a few more minutes, and then, in the words of my wife and daughter (who had awakened by this time), collapsed lifeless onto the bathroom floor. 

From the time that I blacked out, I didn't come to any conscious sense until almost 30 hours later when I awoke in ICU.

When I awoke mid-morning on Sunday, I couldn't remember anything. 
  • I didn't know where I was 
  • I didn't know why there were people around me
  • I couldn't make out what they were saying
  • I couldn't communicate to them in a satisfactory way
It was as if I had just been born, and all of the happy faces (a few serious ones) and all of the busy activity surrounding me seemed to be a collective, Welcome to the world, Robbie!


Where I awoke
(Williamson Medical Center: Franklin, TN)

Hey, my experience isn't unique by any means. Thousands of people, I imagine, are saved from peril everyday. But next is where my story derailed me for a good month initially, and then for the better part of a year. It came back to me in little, unwanted memory-seizures, but I slowly realized that something happened to me while I was under. And it involved my consent.

I can't tell you the story here, or there's no reason for you to download this little book.

IT'S FREE here from Sunday, June 3, 2018 to June 7, 2018. You don't have to have a Kindle Reader to be able to download and read this little book! Amazon will convert it for you in whatever format your device requires.

My experience can help the friends and loved ones of those who return from a close call with what can seem to be a total lack of appreciation for all the efforts to bring them back.

So, please, SHARE.

Me thinking about you reading this book...
It's a short book. Please, leave a short review here!




Wednesday, April 19, 2017

JACKSON THOMAS: "I'm Not Sure How He Made It, But He Did"


Last Thursday morning, the world turned upside down for Jackson Thomas – literally.

Jackson, a recent high school graduate with a passion for photography, video, and travel, has filled his Instagram and YouTube feeds with images and short films of his adventures camping, hanging around Franklin with friends, touring Israel, living in Greece, and exploring Turkey. Jackson invited his viewers along as he jumped into oceans, walked railroad tracks, climbed rooftops, and rode foreign highways, often with his trademark left hand extended with an open palm.


Jackson wasn't planning to attend college. He was going to chase his passion for film, travel, and photography and eventually support himself with his own business. His parents were 100% supportive of his plans. Besides the social media posts, Jackson also took senior portraits and interned with Compass Cinema. And a multitude of other things like working part-time at McCreary's in his hometown of Franklin, Tennessee.

As a kind of graduation celebration, Jackson traveled with "The Roadshow," which hired him as a photographer for three shows of its tour. Jackson and his dad, Dwane, left for California on March 1 and hung with the band for the first 5 days. The last show was in Colorado Springs.


Afterwards, Dwane and Jackson attended a Brendan Brechard conference on the 8th. Dwane and his son both had read and discussed a lot of Brendan's books, and they both functioned with his goal-oriented, positive, how-can-I-serve-others mentality. Jackson was the youngest person there, and he loved the conference. After the conference, Jackson’s friend Mitchell flew out to meet him. They were driving around, living in the van and taking pictures. They stayed with a friend in LA for a week or so.


Meanwhile Jackson’s family, his mom and dad and four younger sisters, traveled to Greece for the second year in a row to work with Syrian refugees through a local ministry, Servant Group International. Servant Group, a local non-profit with twenty years of dedication to reaching and serving Muslim communities through schools in Iraq, has more recently sponsored short-term service trips and local ministry here in Nashville to support refugees. The family planned to stay through July 25. The girls and Gretchen loved being with the Syrian and Afghan people and were excited to be there.


Besides helping with refugee work, Dwane was there to study and learn Greek. A Latin teacher for nearly twenty years at various schools in Franklin, Dwane shifted his Latin teaching online to create Visual Latin. The Greek trips afforded Dwane the opportunity to learn Greek by immersion and expand his online education platform.


Last Thursday morning, Jackson and Mitchell were headed home. Jackson slept well Wednesday night, had coffee, and crossed the mountains. A natural morning person, Jackson was driving the first shift while Mitchell slept in the back. Around 8:30 am (as best as people can figure out) a tire blew out on the van. Mitchell woke to a violent shaking followed by a heavy sway to one side and then two huge swerves before the van started to roll. It rolled six times, landing upright. Mitchell, who was unhurt, immediately got out of the side door and checked on Jackson.




Passersby called 911 and came to help. A nurse heard the call on her emergency radio while going to work, and she turned around to go to the scene. She held Jackson's head to apply pressure to a large laceration until EMT arrived forty-five minutes later.

A life flight took Jackson to the hospital in Aurora, right outside Denver. Mitchell did not have to be medically transported. At the hospital, a team of doctors treated Jackson for the head laceration (which now has forty staples), brain trauma and bleeding, two mildly fractured ribs, a punctured lung, and some mildly fractured vertebrae. (Doctors have not been able to assess as much about those injuries because Jackson cannot sit up or stand yet. Jackson also suffered a humerus bone broken by the elbow into three pieces and a left hand with four fingers broken, some in more than one place. During a Monday surgery, Jackson had plates, pins, and wires installed to hold the arm and hand bones in place for healing).


That left hand was shattered.

But the boy lived.
  • He suffered no internal injuries. 
  • His face was left whole and uncut. 
  • His feet and legs were not broken. 
  • Mitchell was conscious as well and able to help him
  • He received immediate help from a skilled professional sooner than expected
Miracles, miracles, and more miracles.

In Greece, Dwane and Gretchen and their daughters heard of the accident and rushed to sever plans, cancel reservations, and hurry home. Though they had travel insurance to cover some expenses, their return flights cost €12,000.

Back home, Gretchen’s sister and Jackson’s old boss at Compass Cinema flew to Denver before the day was out to support Mitchell and Jackson. More friends prayed, called relatives and friends in the area to visit the hospital and pray, set up a GoFundMe account, and filled it with over twenty thousand dollars so far. Friends plastered Jackson’s story across social media and sent words of love and support to the family. Friends even had coffee and snacks delivered to the hospital.

Gretchen arrived Friday, and Dwane and the girls arrived soon after. Doctors have told the family that Jackson is looking at a two-to-three-week minimum stay in the hospital, which means that the Thomas family will be staying in Colorado for the time being.
Jackson’s physical therapy will be long and painful. He will not be taking pictures any time soon. And the family needs help, too.

***THERE ARE A NUMBER OF WAYS THAT YOU CAN HELP THE FAMILY...***
(and this is where this blogpost counts).

Here are their needs:
____________________________________________
  • The MEDICAL BILLS the Thomas family incurs will supercede their insurance
  • Once Jackson leaves the hospital, he can get a total of 40 OUTPATIENT THERAPIES of any combination, but he will require extensive therapy.
  • Add to that the change in TRAVEL PLANS and the new expense of a hotel near the hospital for six people and travel. 
  • They have household obligations in Greece FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS (like rent on their apartment to which they are currently committed to pay through May 13).
  • The Thomas FAMILY VAN WILL NEED TO BE REPLACED, something they are likely to do while in Colorado instead of incurring the added cost of a rental for three weeks.
  • JACKSON'S CAMERA IS SHATTERED AS WELL AS HIS IPHONE, Not sure if his computer is functional yet. Those technologies are the tools of his trade.
____________________________________________

The goal is to raise $150,000 BEFORE JACKSON TRANSFERS TO HOSPITAL IN TENNESSEE. We're talking about two more weeks. Over $20,000 has been donated through GoFundMe in less than a week. So we need to SHARE, SHARE, SHARE the family's needs.


The Thomas family (both Dwane and Gretchen) have taught, loved, and cared for children in Franklin, Tennessee for twenty years. Now it’s time for Franklin to show up for them. And beyond. Franklin and beyond. What can you do to help? Currently, here are 3 portals:
  • Pray. Share his story with other people who will give and pray.
  • Give to Jackson’s GoFundMe to cover family expenses and medical bills.
  • Follow Jackson’s Caring Bridge site to send messages of support.
  • Supply activities for family members who are not in the hospital (Friends suggest that sketch pads, journals, face paints and brushes, colored pencils, books, movie passes, and outings like horseback riding would all help the family, especially the four girls, to cope with the long days of sitting at a hospital or hotel).

Right now, Dwane and Gretchen aren't counting costs. They are counting blessings.



When asked about Jackson, Gretchen says, All in all [Jackson’s injuries are] mild compared to what it could have been… More friends continue to support us through prayer, financial giving, showing up, having coffee delivered ;) providing snacks and emailing or messaging their encouragement... Thank you thank you thank you!

Let’s put the world right side up for a really great family.


(If you want to help beyond the opportunities listed, please, contact Robbie Grayson at stonetableschool@gmail.com).

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Saint Michael's Shield: A Tribute to Caleb White (February 24, 1993 - March 4, 2017)




I learned last week from Ed and Tina White that Caleb White's real hero was Michael the Archangel. I'm not sure why I didn't see that before. Everything about Caleb was about protecting others. I think that he was more Michael's shield than his sword.

***

Imagine how incredibly sad it is for a teacher to learn about the passing of a former student. Especially if that connection survived the separate-but-equal status of most middle-school, student-teacher relationships, eventually morphing over a decade into the level playing field of adulthood. Incredibly sad is the best way I can describe the sudden arbitrary and intense moments that seize me by the gut, radiate up my spine, and blur my vision before I even know that I'm intensely sad for Caleb's family, proud of Caleb, and in awe of him all at the same time.

I lay no sentimental claim to Caleb White, nor do I attribute his general awesomeness to any specific lesson I taught him as his headmaster from 2005 to 2007. With most of the male students I taught at Stone Table in Franklin, Tennessee, the healthiest relationships that I have today usually experienced an initial break in the relationship where the man-child drew a very deep line in the sand, daring me to cross it. That student-teacher divide gave way to mutual respect and friendship almost every time.


Strange enough, that was never the case with Caleb. 

First of all, Caleb and I both are the middle-child of three. As a result, I knew that Caleb cared less about performance (the first-born curse) and even less about cuteness (the third-born curse). By gosh, Caleb was spontaneous and original (what I liked to call absurd. Hey, I'm the same way...) and most importantly of all, timing was important. And the timing was always now. 

Second of all, Caleb wasn't aware of certain protocols. It wasn't that he didn't care (he didn't). It was that he didn't know, and then he didn't care about what he didn't know. So if Caleb derailed my Physical Science class because, say, the word uniformitarianism reminded him of something he recalled off Sponge Bob and he felt it absolutely important to say so and I objected, then that bright look on his face would give way to worry eyebrows and he would turn the discussion to how You say that you want us to interact, but you're the only one talking (which was true...) or You let the girls say things that have nothing to do with class (damn, that was also true...).

Third of all, Ed and Tina White's boys were different than quite a few of the boys at my school. My school lay within the boundary lines of Williamson County which boasted a delicate conflation of the quickly-fading-but-endearing-Southern-small-town-hospitality ethos and the evangelical-hipster-coffee-drinking-my-skinny-jeans-so-tight-that-it-hurts-my-balls-and-beanie-wearing demographic. And everything in between. Caleb White and his brothers were neither.

The Whites lived in a little "hollow" called Fernvale where they were completely cushioned by the beautiful scenery of Middle Tennessee: the woods, the hills, the streams, wildlife, few people. They lived in Davy Crockett's world. There, they were sheltered from Williamson County tensions and nuances of which church, which band, which brand, which neighborhood, decisions, decisions, decisions. Being oblivious made the boys stick out as a one-of-a-kind posse at our school. Can I get a witness?

I still can see Caleb rolling out of the car each morning, entering the squeaky school door, barrel-chested, his clothes smelling a combination of Tennessee earth, strong soap, and, I don't know, Camel cigarettes. I remember this, because on most days Caleb would hug me. And he always sported the "smirkle" below.


And what did Caleb learn at our school? Caleb was almost always under David Raymond's charge. Back then, David did most of the teaching of Caleb's grade, and I did most of the playing with the same kids in and outside school (death soccer, wrestling, and Airsoft Wars based on historic battles). Caleb read a lot because Mr. Raymond had the kids read, and read, and then read some more. Classics. Especially the kind that boys need to read to learn to be men

I approved of this, because my goal for the students (who I affectionately called POMOS) was about determining what each student deeply valued, giving them more of that and less of everything else. While their reading was guided, each student was the ultimate interpreter of what she or he was reading. If the students did this right and didn't simply answer God for every question David Raymond asked them, then it told me that the students were assimilating. And if they don't assimilate it, it can never be a part of them.


Referencing something that Mr. Raymond recently said, Caleb loved the adventures of Odysseus. And he went on quite a few adventures himself when he left Stone Table from joining the wrestling team at Fairview High School to adventures with one of his best friends (Bryce Nolte), to arranging fistfights all over Fairview (I followed these on facebook, hahaha). One day, he showed up at my school with Bryce. I couldn't stop looking at Caleb's thick shoulders and arms, because the last time I saw him he was average-sized. But he thanked me for my compliment and complimented me on my thick shoulders and arms. Always the gentleman.

The last time I saw Caleb (Spring 2011), he told me that he was joining the Army.


The next time that I talked to Caleb (April 2014), he sent me a facebook message to call him. I got on the phone, and Caleb described to me how much combat was wearing on his spirit. It wasn't that he didn't like his job (he loved it). He was just trying to figure out how to do his job and retain his sense of justice without loving it too much. He didn't want combat to get normal.


We kept in contact from that point on, but only through Facebook Messenger and Instagram. I was a fan of his Instagram posts, a side-splitting marriage of absurdity and vulgarity that I relished because I could hear Caleb saying the memes with that smirkle on his lips. The last time we chatted was on Instagram (January 2017) where he described to me yet another one of his adventures where he jumped into a brawl out of duty for a Soldier-brother.

When I went to visit Ed and Tina White after Caleb's passing, they filled me in on the gap years when I wasn't in much contact with Caleb. Perhaps, the apex of my visit with them was when they pulled out a coat-of-arms that Caleb created for one of David Raymond's projects. Look at it here. It took my breath away.



So back to Saint Michael's shield. Caleb's posture was almost always defensive: defensive of his family, of his brothers, of himself, of others, of those he didn't know, of his brothers-in-arms, in service to his country, in service to the country in which he was fighting. I will remember Caleb as a shield more than a sword.

As miracles have it, a combat soldier who is a friend of mine mentioned in casual conversation (and unprovoked) the Cave of Saint Michael in Italy. I was stunned, because I had Caleb on my mind and he didn't know about it. I looked it up on the internet the next day and thought that I would write the curator of the shrine about Caleb White. I received a response within the hour. In Italian.

***
Gent. Sig. Robbie Grayson,

Ho appreso con tristezza la notizia della scomparsa di Caleb White. Ma subito il mio cuore si è rasserenato apprendendo dalla sua grande devozione a San Michele Arcangelo.

Il Signore ha voluto chiamare a Sé Caleb. Sia benedetto il Suo Nome. Ora Lui è felice ed intercede per i suoi cari fra i cori angelici ed i santi.
        
Coraggio e fede! Abbiamo l’assoluta sicurezza che un giorno ci ritroveremo insieme ai nostri cari che sono già passati sull’altra riva e con loro canteremo eternamente le lodi del Dio della vita.
        
Pregherò per lei e per il defunto Caleb e per suoi genitori e fratelli, toccati profondamente da questo lutto, attraverso l’infallibile canale del Santo Sacrificio della Messa e della preghiera quotidiana. San Michele Arcangelo che accompagna i defunti davanti al trono dell’Infinita Maestà lo introduca nella luce della Santa eternità dove tutti ci ritroveremo.
        
E’ certezza della nostra fede ed in tale convinzione La saluto affettuosamente.
            
P. Ladislao Suchy

***TRANSLATION***


Dear Mr Robbie Grayson,
I learned with sadness about the news of the death of Caleb White. But now my heart is cheered from learning about his great devotion to St. Michael the Archangel.         
The Lord wanted to call Caleb to Himself. Blessed be His Name. Now Caleb is happy and intercedes for his loved ones among the choirs of angels and saints.         
Have courage and faith! We have absolute confidence that one day we will meet together with our loved ones who have already passed on to the other side, and with them we eternally will sing the praises of the God of life.         
I will pray for the deceased Caleb and his parents and brothers. Know that I am deeply touched by this grief, through the infallible Holy Sacrifice of the Mass channel and daily prayer. Saint Michael will accompany Caleb before the throne of Infinite Majesty, introducing him into the light of the Holy Eternity where we all will meet again.         
I say this with the certainty of our faith and belief.

Affectionately,             
P. Ladislao Suchy

***

I will always remember Caleb and be grateful to God that he let me teach him, become friends with him, and learn from him. What a beautiful life God gave Ed, Tina, David, and Silas.

***

Saint Michael's Prayer 
Saint Michael Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, By the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits Who prowl through the world seeing the ruin of souls. Amen.

"FIRST DO NO HARM" | Heal Yourself

  As a Gen-Xer raised in a military family overseas, I was taught to be deflect any attention that came my way onto anything that was 1) clo...

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